I'm changing

I'm changing. The focus of my doing in the past was to gain attention and respect (or even admiration). In my days at school, I felt that I constantly had to prove myself. When I took the admission test to the Austrian high intelligence society and passed it in my first year at university, I finally felt that the proof that I was superior was there. Nevertheless I remained pushy: on the contrary, this trait increased as I now had the seemingly naive feeling of being predestinated to great success in my studies and in science, while my marks actually got worse since I wasn't naturally interested in memorizing the facts the medicine curriculum required at that stage. It was good to start computer science as it showed me the real significance of my talents (i.e. that I merely have an easy time with logics-related things compared to other students, while I'm not equally outstanding at memorizing facts). Meanwhile I accept not getting only A's. I'm not forcing myself any longer to study things perfectly that don't interest me much; I just study them as much as I believe it to be necessary to pass the exams. I've become a more relaxed and absolutely calm person. While I've already more or less overcome my obsessive-compulsive traits, I'm now also getting rid of my narcissm. I've thought about life from birth to adulthood as a whole: Like my father says, the human world has become too complex to be just mastered intuitively. That's why education is needed. So education is something important for everybody, and it is actually not supposed to be a means that enables some people to claim that they're superior. The life standard of most of us wouldn't be possible to attain by subsistence economy; that's why division of labour is needed. Every human being is different. That's great. This multitude of personalities and physical attributes is a good thing. Economy as well as science and technology will develop naturally by the wishes and interactions of the individuals. Everybody is free to design their lives in their own ways within the legal and natural circumstances. Social interaction (including economic one) is actually a foundation of human existence; this just isn't that obvious for non-parttime-working university students in big cities. 

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